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Feels Like a Short Weekend

~H~

Well this weekend definitely went to fast. It wasn't a terrible weekend, but it could have been better. My wife has been having a real tough time dealing with the past and future. She is afraid that I wasn't faithful before this. No matter what I tell her, she still has doubts about whether this was the first time or not. I tell her that it was the first and only time, and she wants to believe me, but it is hard for her. Unfortunately, I can not blame her for not trusting me. I brought it on myself. She is also worried that I will do it again in the future. I understand this fear too. Nothing I can say will comfort her. She can not trust anything I say because I have betrayed that trust before. This kills me because I know she is justified.

My wife has been reading about affairs on the Internet allot. This bothers me because I know that nothing she reads is going to make her feel better. Let's face it, who is going to talk good about an affair. I tell her that I think her reading this stuff is making it harder for us to get through it. She feels she has to search for answers. I just hope that it is not in the wrong spots. I know that we have a long way to go. I will be by her side through all of it. I only hope that it gets easier for her and that someday she will be able to forgive me and get through this. I know that we will never get over it. I just want to get through it so that all of our memories are positive and happy ones. My wife is the most special thing in my life and I owe her any support I can. I am sorry!

1 comments:

    On January 12, 2009 at 1:47 AM Anonymous said...

    hi! i'm no expert at this but i have to agree w/ you, if all she reads about are affairs, it will only make things harder. but maybe, if you let her feel that you're really sorry things might be easier for her. give her time, she was hurt, let time heal her wounds.

     

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