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The Wife was Right

~H~

Well, she was right. I was getting on to write tonight. I can see that I have been falling behind because the last few posts were from her. My life has been really busy right now. As you can see from my wife's posts, my job has been occupying a lot of my time and thoughts. Anyone who has ever had to fire someone can see my point. I would rather have to fire people than to lay them off. At least when you fire someone it is normally because they did something wrong. When you have layoffs, you take good people and take their income from them. People who have always done what you ask and maybe you have even become friends with. I hate the economy.

I am fortunate that my wife understands how hard this has been on me. She really is great support to help keep my spirits up. I know I don't deserve her. We have been progressing pretty slow recently. Sometimes it feels like we are moving backwards. I hate answering her questions because with every word I am hurting her. I want nothing more than for her pain to go away. I love her so much and I can't stand knowing that she is hurting inside because of me. I guess I should have thought about that before I did anything wrong.

I wonder if she will ever get past this. If I thought she would be tortured for life by staying with me, I would let her go. It would kill me, but I can't be selfish. I pray to God everyday to help us get through this. I want our relationship to be perfect or at least to continue without flawed thoughts. I would ask people to pray for us. We can use all the help we can get. I pray that it is in God's grace to help my wife forgive me.

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