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Sometimes Up's Outnumber the Down's


The last few weeks have been pretty difficult outside the home. With the economy the way it is, it is difficult to see the struggles people are going through. I have lots of friends and family that are laid off and having a hard time making it. I am fortunate to be working, but unfortunately am involved with watching co-workers lose their jobs. This is the topic of just about every discussion at work.

The biggest thing that gets me through the day is knowing that I am coming home to my wife. She is so supporting and never lets me get down. When I need a shoulder to lean on, she is always there. I try to do the same for her. She shows me how strong she is everyday in her words and actions. I owe her my sanity. When I am with her I can relax and all the problems of the world seem to not be so important. She keeps me Up when I am feeling Down!

Do Some Commenters NOT Read the WHOLE Blog?


I appreciate all comments...truly I do. BUT if you do not know the whole story how can you truly offer advice? Someone just commented that this blog was just to publicly humiliate my husband. I beg to differ. We are anonymous. No one knows who we are. I have dealt with all of this alone. No one in my life, not my sister, mother, best friend NO one knows what I am going through but ME and my husband. I chose NOT to publicly humiliate him. I love him and though he messed up have no desire to have people label him. He was always a good man and I wish for everyone that is in our lives to continue to always see him for who he is. I know if I told anyone they would forever see his mistake. This is my outlet. These are MY feelings put down. He responds how he chooses to.

Some days it's very difficult for me to get past the hurt. We were not having problems before he traveled. I must repeatedly stress this. We were good. Maybe not perfect but what couple in this world is? There are two very confusing emotions I deal with on a daily basis. My love for him and my feeling of betrayal. He begged me on his knees to stay with him and I did. Because I love him...but it's not easy. This blog was a mutual thing for the two of us. We chose to use this as an outlet for our feelings. He writes what he feels. There is no wrong in that. I am very glad that he is sorry for what he did and when I read it, I feel his pain. So in answer to *anonymous* commenter YES. This blog has been very helpful. Next question?

Isn't She Wonderful!


I think my title says it all. What an incredible woman my wife is. I can see from some of the comments that we have gotten, that some people out there reading this post have been hurt like this themselves. I want to tell them I am sorry. I am sorry they had to be hurt the way I have hurt my wife. I am sorry they had to be betrayed the way I betrayed my wife. I hope you were able to move on with whatever decision you made at that time in your relationship.

I do not consider myself better than anyone else. All I do know is that I messed up. I threw away my life and my wife's along with it. Please believe me when I say that the regret is huge and something that will never go away no matter how long I live. I will spend the rest of eternity trying to get my wife to forgive me. I do not feel that I deserve to be nor do I expect to be, but that will not stop me from trying. I was selfish and thought about only myself.

On behalf of anyone who has ever betrayed their spouse, I want to apologize to that spouse. We are a selfish, thoughtless, and uncaring person. I only hope that you got the apology that you deserved no matter what the outcome was.

I give all my love to my wife. She is so special and strong. She has moments of complete distrust and hatred towards me which I deserve 10 fold. Even when she is so mad at me that she can't even look at me, I still love her more than life. I want her to be mad at me. I am mad at myself. I only wish that she didn't hurt so much. Her thoughts are the enemy that can not be defeated. I will stand by her as strong as I can be. I will support her in any way I can. I will love her with all of my heart. To my wife...I am Sorry!

Long Time, So Difficult


I haven't posted anything in awhile and honestly my entrecard dropping slacked off a bit too. I've been just a little nervous lately about the responses I get on this blog. I am needing encouragement these days. I know what went wrong in my marriage. I know what happened and I know how horrible it was. I know my faults, I know my husband's faults. I am aware of it. We have addressed it over and over again. We have went round and round. I feel we are different than many couples are on this situation. We are on the SAME page now. He was an idiot. He lost his damn mind the moment he was alone for a significant period of time. Does it make me mad??? YES. Hell yes it does. Do I question life? Do I question my marriage? YES. I love this man more than anything. I have been through so much with him. I have been through children, miscarriage, illness. I have been with him almost half of my life. So yes, I have been through all the possibilities. I have questioned the future, the past. I have went through so much in my mind that I am sure there is no room left in my brain. There is only one thing I do know for sure in all of this...and that is I do know my husband loves me...and I also believe he will not mess up again. How can I be sure? Well none of us really can be for sure in reality can we? But I feel I am as close to sure as anyone can be. I know he doesn't want to do this again. We have stopped taking each other for granted and we are trying to move forward with our life. There are no more chances after this one, so we are both going to make sure we get it right.

Taken for Granted


I know I haven't written in quite a while. Things have just gotten really busy in my life. I always told myself that I will never get to busy to write. Some of it is busy and the other is just laziness. Nonetheless, I still think about things and my wife a lot.

My Wife really is a wonderful woman. She is always there when I need her. No matter what problems come my way, she is always the one who can make me feel better. I never want to take her for granted. I know I do and probably always will. I always assume that she will comfort me and make me feel better. She takes care of my needs, wants and desires. Is it wrong to take those things for granted?

I feel that taking the other person for granted in a relationship is sometime OK. To know that your spouse is going to take care of the kids or the house or the bills in not a bad thing. It is when you stop realizing what you take for granted. I almost lost the love of my life. All of the things I have taken for granted in my life came flashing before my eyes. Now I am sure that I still take many things for granted, I just try to make sure I tell her thank you. I tell her how much I appreciate everything she does. I still know that things mysteriously get done. The truth is that I solved the mystery. I have grown to recognize all that I have. All that she does for me and our family.

Life is full of give and take. I have spent a majority of my life trying to be the giver and not seeing how much I take. The truth is that I need to be giving my all to the one I love and it automatically comes back around 10 full. My wife is my hero. She is strong and intelligent in every way. No matter how much I unintentionally take her for granted, I will always remember to show her how much she means to me.

A Good Easter and More Replies to Comments


We had a good Easter with some family. I enjoyed myself and so did my family. I wish the hubby had more time off. I really wish we could get away together as I think it would do us some good but with the kids it's practically impossible. We can get away for a night maybe but that's about it.

Anyway I wanted to again address a couple of comments we got recently. There was a comment made about why this whole thing happened and if my husband didn't figure out why that it would happen again. We agree with needing to know why (not that it will happen again) but also really feel we know why. Number one, he was one the road. Being lonely, and suddenly living with NO family for 5 weeks straight made him do a very stupid thing. Lonely is a poor excuse but I think all the time he was on the road, making friends at this job and then going out and drinking which is what they always did made him just feel like a bachelor. I personally think he started feeling single and felt free.

I am very hurt by this because while he felt that way I was home alone with our children. He was out being free and I was being more of a parent than ever because I was now on my own. He didn't allow me to go out. He seriously put his foot down and I found we fought about this a lot. I think now it was out of his own guilty conscience that he didn't want me to go out. He knew if he could do this, so could I. It's so selfish to think this way but I feel those who cheat often do. They want both. They want their cake and they want to eat it too. You just cannot have it both ways. It's not fair to anyone involved.

We are seeing a marriage counselor and we have discussed all the whys and what fors. I think plain and simple he was an idiot. He destroyed me with these actions and I am dealing with it every single day. I love him and I want this to work. I want our family to work. I will put everything into keep us working. Our relationship really is better than ever and we do realize the faults we both had in our marriage.

I must state strictly that I do not feel it is EVER justifiable to cheat. No matter what is wrong in your relationship. Fix it or get out. Adultery is like murder. It killed me and it kills anyone who has this happen to them. You don't ever have a right to break your marriage vows. For better or for worse! If you feel neglected, or if you feel things are not going right then work it out! Go to a marriage counselor, discuss it with your partner, let them know your thoughts and how serious you are but it is a total cop out to just go and find someone new without letting anyone else in on that bit of information. I was replaced and had no clue. I was replaced and never had a say in the matter. I guarantee you, I wouldn't have shared and I'd rather he have left me for my mistakes.

Though my biggest faults were being an obsessive mother and possibly neglecting him in the process. I could come back and say I was neglected too. He didn't like all the time I wanted to be with the kids and I didn't like all the time he wanted to go out. I got left home a lot. He felt I didn't want to go out with him, I felt he didn't want to stay home with us. You see the pattern? I do and so does he. We have compromised. I am not an obsessive mother anymore. I have relaxed and we do most things together now. Things are so much better now that we are open and aware of the issues we had. I regret not having this with him before. I regret not putting my foot down and making him see how I felt and I know he does too. I think we have equal responsibility in the where our relationship went wrong, but I will never blame myself for his decision to cheat. That is just like I said, inexcusable. There are much better ways to deal with things.

A Friday Off


I love a Holiday when the whole family can be home together, just kind of doing their own thing but still together. My kids are off of school obviously and my hubby doesn't have to work. He is playing video games at the moment. He gets the chance and takes it and I don't mind at all as long as I get my time later. We all need to do our own thing sometimes. Still it is important to get some time together. It's pretty easy to eventually just get into a sort of monotonous routine and barely say hello in passing even in the same house. That can have very negative effects on a relationship in the long run. Trust me, I know. We really did sort of just get into a routine and I think to a certain degree took each other for granted. My hubby and I of course. Whether you are in a fairly new relationship or one that has lasted for years you have to make time for each other and not out of obligation either. Enjoy each other. Allow yourself to be flirty, lovey and act like it's all new. Make sure your spouse or significant other KNOWS what they mean to you. Don't assume anything. I can't wait for some good quality time with my husband tonight. It's always best once all the kids are tucked safely in their beds and I can lie down with his arms wrapped around me. It's my favorite time of day.

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