Happily Ever After

~H~

The last few weeks have been pretty difficult outside the home. With the economy the way it is, it is difficult to see the struggles people are going through. I have lots of friends and family that are laid off and having a hard time making it. I am fortunate to be working, but unfortunately am involved with watching co-workers lose their jobs. This is the topic of just about every discussion at work.

The biggest thing that gets me through the day is knowing that I am coming home to my wife. She is so supporting and never lets me get down. When I need a shoulder to lean on, she is always there. I try to do the same for her. She shows me how strong she is everyday in her words and actions. I owe her my sanity. When I am with her I can relax and all the problems of the world seem to not be so important. She keeps me Up when I am feeling Down!

~W~


I appreciate all comments...truly I do. BUT if you do not know the whole story how can you truly offer advice? Someone just commented that this blog was just to publicly humiliate my husband. I beg to differ. We are anonymous. No one knows who we are. I have dealt with all of this alone. No one in my life, not my sister, mother, best friend NO one knows what I am going through but ME and my husband. I chose NOT to publicly humiliate him. I love him and though he messed up have no desire to have people label him. He was always a good man and I wish for everyone that is in our lives to continue to always see him for who he is. I know if I told anyone they would forever see his mistake. This is my outlet. These are MY feelings put down. He responds how he chooses to.

Some days it's very difficult for me to get past the hurt. We were not having problems before he traveled. I must repeatedly stress this. We were good. Maybe not perfect but what couple in this world is? There are two very confusing emotions I deal with on a daily basis. My love for him and my feeling of betrayal. He begged me on his knees to stay with him and I did. Because I love him...but it's not easy. This blog was a mutual thing for the two of us. We chose to use this as an outlet for our feelings. He writes what he feels. There is no wrong in that. I am very glad that he is sorry for what he did and when I read it, I feel his pain. So in answer to *anonymous* commenter YES. This blog has been very helpful. Next question?

~H~

I think my title says it all. What an incredible woman my wife is. I can see from some of the comments that we have gotten, that some people out there reading this post have been hurt like this themselves. I want to tell them I am sorry. I am sorry they had to be hurt the way I have hurt my wife. I am sorry they had to be betrayed the way I betrayed my wife. I hope you were able to move on with whatever decision you made at that time in your relationship.

I do not consider myself better than anyone else. All I do know is that I messed up. I threw away my life and my wife's along with it. Please believe me when I say that the regret is huge and something that will never go away no matter how long I live. I will spend the rest of eternity trying to get my wife to forgive me. I do not feel that I deserve to be nor do I expect to be, but that will not stop me from trying. I was selfish and thought about only myself.

On behalf of anyone who has ever betrayed their spouse, I want to apologize to that spouse. We are a selfish, thoughtless, and uncaring person. I only hope that you got the apology that you deserved no matter what the outcome was.

I give all my love to my wife. She is so special and strong. She has moments of complete distrust and hatred towards me which I deserve 10 fold. Even when she is so mad at me that she can't even look at me, I still love her more than life. I want her to be mad at me. I am mad at myself. I only wish that she didn't hurt so much. Her thoughts are the enemy that can not be defeated. I will stand by her as strong as I can be. I will support her in any way I can. I will love her with all of my heart. To my wife...I am Sorry!

~W~

I haven't posted anything in awhile and honestly my entrecard dropping slacked off a bit too. I've been just a little nervous lately about the responses I get on this blog. I am needing encouragement these days. I know what went wrong in my marriage. I know what happened and I know how horrible it was. I know my faults, I know my husband's faults. I am aware of it. We have addressed it over and over again. We have went round and round. I feel we are different than many couples are on this situation. We are on the SAME page now. He was an idiot. He lost his damn mind the moment he was alone for a significant period of time. Does it make me mad??? YES. Hell yes it does. Do I question life? Do I question my marriage? YES. I love this man more than anything. I have been through so much with him. I have been through children, miscarriage, illness. I have been with him almost half of my life. So yes, I have been through all the possibilities. I have questioned the future, the past. I have went through so much in my mind that I am sure there is no room left in my brain. There is only one thing I do know for sure in all of this...and that is I do know my husband loves me...and I also believe he will not mess up again. How can I be sure? Well none of us really can be for sure in reality can we? But I feel I am as close to sure as anyone can be. I know he doesn't want to do this again. We have stopped taking each other for granted and we are trying to move forward with our life. There are no more chances after this one, so we are both going to make sure we get it right.