Happily Ever After

~H~

I know I haven't written in quite a while. Things have just gotten really busy in my life. I always told myself that I will never get to busy to write. Some of it is busy and the other is just laziness. Nonetheless, I still think about things and my wife a lot.

My Wife really is a wonderful woman. She is always there when I need her. No matter what problems come my way, she is always the one who can make me feel better. I never want to take her for granted. I know I do and probably always will. I always assume that she will comfort me and make me feel better. She takes care of my needs, wants and desires. Is it wrong to take those things for granted?

I feel that taking the other person for granted in a relationship is sometime OK. To know that your spouse is going to take care of the kids or the house or the bills in not a bad thing. It is when you stop realizing what you take for granted. I almost lost the love of my life. All of the things I have taken for granted in my life came flashing before my eyes. Now I am sure that I still take many things for granted, I just try to make sure I tell her thank you. I tell her how much I appreciate everything she does. I still know that things mysteriously get done. The truth is that I solved the mystery. I have grown to recognize all that I have. All that she does for me and our family.

Life is full of give and take. I have spent a majority of my life trying to be the giver and not seeing how much I take. The truth is that I need to be giving my all to the one I love and it automatically comes back around 10 full. My wife is my hero. She is strong and intelligent in every way. No matter how much I unintentionally take her for granted, I will always remember to show her how much she means to me.

~W~


We had a good Easter with some family. I enjoyed myself and so did my family. I wish the hubby had more time off. I really wish we could get away together as I think it would do us some good but with the kids it's practically impossible. We can get away for a night maybe but that's about it.

Anyway I wanted to again address a couple of comments we got recently. There was a comment made about why this whole thing happened and if my husband didn't figure out why that it would happen again. We agree with needing to know why (not that it will happen again) but also really feel we know why. Number one, he was one the road. Being lonely, and suddenly living with NO family for 5 weeks straight made him do a very stupid thing. Lonely is a poor excuse but I think all the time he was on the road, making friends at this job and then going out and drinking which is what they always did made him just feel like a bachelor. I personally think he started feeling single and felt free.

I am very hurt by this because while he felt that way I was home alone with our children. He was out being free and I was being more of a parent than ever because I was now on my own. He didn't allow me to go out. He seriously put his foot down and I found we fought about this a lot. I think now it was out of his own guilty conscience that he didn't want me to go out. He knew if he could do this, so could I. It's so selfish to think this way but I feel those who cheat often do. They want both. They want their cake and they want to eat it too. You just cannot have it both ways. It's not fair to anyone involved.

We are seeing a marriage counselor and we have discussed all the whys and what fors. I think plain and simple he was an idiot. He destroyed me with these actions and I am dealing with it every single day. I love him and I want this to work. I want our family to work. I will put everything into keep us working. Our relationship really is better than ever and we do realize the faults we both had in our marriage.

I must state strictly that I do not feel it is EVER justifiable to cheat. No matter what is wrong in your relationship. Fix it or get out. Adultery is like murder. It killed me and it kills anyone who has this happen to them. You don't ever have a right to break your marriage vows. For better or for worse! If you feel neglected, or if you feel things are not going right then work it out! Go to a marriage counselor, discuss it with your partner, let them know your thoughts and how serious you are but it is a total cop out to just go and find someone new without letting anyone else in on that bit of information. I was replaced and had no clue. I was replaced and never had a say in the matter. I guarantee you, I wouldn't have shared and I'd rather he have left me for my mistakes.

Though my biggest faults were being an obsessive mother and possibly neglecting him in the process. I could come back and say I was neglected too. He didn't like all the time I wanted to be with the kids and I didn't like all the time he wanted to go out. I got left home a lot. He felt I didn't want to go out with him, I felt he didn't want to stay home with us. You see the pattern? I do and so does he. We have compromised. I am not an obsessive mother anymore. I have relaxed and we do most things together now. Things are so much better now that we are open and aware of the issues we had. I regret not having this with him before. I regret not putting my foot down and making him see how I felt and I know he does too. I think we have equal responsibility in the where our relationship went wrong, but I will never blame myself for his decision to cheat. That is just like I said, inexcusable. There are much better ways to deal with things.

~W~


I love a Holiday when the whole family can be home together, just kind of doing their own thing but still together. My kids are off of school obviously and my hubby doesn't have to work. He is playing video games at the moment. He gets the chance and takes it and I don't mind at all as long as I get my time later. We all need to do our own thing sometimes. Still it is important to get some time together. It's pretty easy to eventually just get into a sort of monotonous routine and barely say hello in passing even in the same house. That can have very negative effects on a relationship in the long run. Trust me, I know. We really did sort of just get into a routine and I think to a certain degree took each other for granted. My hubby and I of course. Whether you are in a fairly new relationship or one that has lasted for years you have to make time for each other and not out of obligation either. Enjoy each other. Allow yourself to be flirty, lovey and act like it's all new. Make sure your spouse or significant other KNOWS what they mean to you. Don't assume anything. I can't wait for some good quality time with my husband tonight. It's always best once all the kids are tucked safely in their beds and I can lie down with his arms wrapped around me. It's my favorite time of day.

I got a blog award recently from April at The Life of an Everyday BBW. I was awarded the Sisterhood Award. As the wife on the blog I'll accept it!

Please be sure to go over and check out her blog.


This award asks me to pass it on to ten other bloggers. I am not really sure if I know of ten blogs off the top of my head so I'd just like to give this award to all my faithful readers. Take it, post it...enjoy it! I love my commenters. I love those who read what I write and give such thoughtful advice. All the women out there who understand, who can give me advice one way or the other are very much like sisters so please accept this award from me! I would go through and find 10 other worthy blogs but I have a little one underfoot and honestly I don't think I could get it done, and I want to get this posted now. So thank you again for the wonderful award. It's so very much appreciated.

~W~


I am by no means a relationship expert. I just know what I have been through. I am the type who is very affected by what happens around me. If something bothers me I find it very difficult to concentrate on other things. I worry and I know it's not good for me. This whole situation has done a real doozy on me. I am trying to make it through this and be strong. I am having issues dealing with the stress of it. I mean, what is acceptable here? If I start to think about things it inevitably spirals out of control. Then by the end of the day I am a sulking, stressed out, and grouchy wife/mother. I am honestly more concerned with how it's all affecting me. My face is breaking out from all the stress as well. So I am forcing myself to caaaaaaaaalm down. Yes. Calm. I need to chill out. I have made this decision and I have to tell myself it's only for ME. It's not for the husband or anyone else but I need to do myself this favor. I need to quit stressing so much. I need to quit thinking the worst. I need to take some of the what ifs and the worst case scenarios in my head and get rid of them for now. It's not doing me any good. The fact of the matter is I have chosen to stay with my husband. I love him and though trust is a long way off yet, I have still placed a good amount of trust in him just by staying here. I do know however our relationship can never move forward unless I can stop worrying myself crazy.

I think it's crazy how much relationships and love can drive a person mad. I mean, watch a soap opera or A&E...Lifetime or Tru TV. How many of these things are on love and affairs? I can't browse through any channels on tv without this being the main theme. Either someone is doing it or being killed because of it. It's insane. I just want to watch something like I Love Lucy...or Little House on the Prairie! haha NO STRESS!

~W~


I don't want to lose all the Today.com blogs I have visited and enjoyed. I have seen this done out there and think it's a great idea. I want to get the links of all the blogs who are leaving entrecard, but just anyone else who might want to exchange links. I'll add you to the blogroll here. Leave your link and please add me to your blogroll as well!