Thursday, April 2, 2009 by Soul Mates 95
I am by no means a relationship expert. I just know what I have been through. I am the type who is very affected by what happens around me. If something bothers me I find it very difficult to concentrate on other things. I worry and I know it's not good for me. This whole situation has done a real doozy on me. I am trying to make it through this and be strong. I am having issues dealing with the stress of it. I mean, what is acceptable here? If I start to think about things it inevitably spirals out of control. Then by the end of the day I am a sulking, stressed out, and grouchy wife/mother. I am honestly more concerned with how it's all affecting me. My face is breaking out from all the stress as well. So I am forcing myself to caaaaaaaaalm down. Yes. Calm. I need to chill out. I have made this decision and I have to tell myself it's only for ME. It's not for the husband or anyone else but I need to do myself this favor. I need to quit stressing so much. I need to quit thinking the worst. I need to take some of the what ifs and the worst case scenarios in my head and get rid of them for now. It's not doing me any good. The fact of the matter is I have chosen to stay with my husband. I love him and though trust is a long way off yet, I have still placed a good amount of trust in him just by staying here. I do know however our relationship can never move forward unless I can stop worrying myself crazy.
I think it's crazy how much relationships and love can drive a person mad. I mean, watch a soap opera or A&E...Lifetime or Tru TV. How many of these things are on love and affairs? I can't browse through any channels on tv without this being the main theme. Either someone is doing it or being killed because of it. It's insane. I just want to watch something like I Love Lucy...or Little House on the Prairie! haha NO STRESS!