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The End of the Year Draws Near


Well, the year is almost over. My Wife and I are going to go out for New Years tomorrow. This will be only the second time in all the time that we have been married that we have gone "out" on New Years. We have always tried to spend New Years with our children and family. This year we decided to celebrate it as a couple. I am looking forward to being able to spend some one on one time with her. I can't wait for that Midnight, Happy New Years kiss.

2009 will definitely signify a change in our lives. The year for our marriage to be repaired. I hope with all my heart that with time, and counseling we will be able to put this horrible past way behind us. I love my wife more than anyone could ever understand. How I was able to do what I have done... well,...I can't even answer that one myself. My wife wants to know how I fell out of love with her. The truth, is that I didn't. I have always loved her. Even during that time in my life I loved her. Somehow I was able to put my entire past life to the back of my mind. This is an ability that I wish I did not have. I feel guilt, and shame for what I have done and I have been dealing with that for years.

If I could give advice to anyone out there it would be this. Think about your actions and the future of them. Do not live in the here and now. Think about the day you got married. How beautiful your bride looked coming down that aisle. The smile on her face. The first time you made love to her. The birth of your children and the pain she endured. The times you were sick and how she cared for you. The way your children worship their mother and the guidance they look for in her. The way she makes you feel when she kisses you. If you can think of these things and still be unfaithful, then there might just be some problems in your marriage that need addressed now. A counselor is a great way to express what you are feeling. They do not judge, they just listen. Believe it or not, that really helps. Don't be afraid to seek out help before it is to late. My wife is an incredible woman who is giving me a second chance. Not all women would be this way. If there is something bothering you in your marriage than talk it out. Don't keep it inside. If your partner is not receptive to talking it out, then get help from a counselor or church. You would be surprised at how much other people are willing to help without judging you. Most of all, show each other daily how much you love each other. Don't get into lazy routines. Make every day exciting. I know I will from now on because there may not be a tomorrow.


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