Typical Life
Thursday, February 12, 2009 by Soul Mates 95
~H~
You know, things are never easy. My wife and I have really been getting along well recently. Until today that is.... We were not even talking about our big problem. She wanted to go shopping when I got off work and I did not. Before I knew it, she said I had changed, and that I didn't want to do anything with her anymore. Where did this come from? I was tired and dirty. I felt like she was mad at me for it. Nothing I could say to her after that made a difference. I feel like if I do not do everything she asks that she takes it personal. If I don't want to do something then I don't like going places with her. If I get mad because I think she is being unreasonable, then World War III starts. I guess I don't deserve anything better. It just makes it hard to live a somewhat normal life when I feel like I have to walk on eggshells.
Now don't get me wrong. We have a very good relationship. I just hate it when she thinks I have changed. That I don't want to do things with her anymore. That our extreme closeness was short lived. I love her more than anything. I want to spend all of my time with her. I just didn't want to go shopping right after work. So, here is the lesson for today. Remember that after such an extreme betrayal, even the good times are hard. The fear of losing the strong relationship we have built is very strong in my wife. I have vowed not to argue with her. I explained myself and she listened and understood. But it did not make her feel any better.
I wish I could make her see how much I love being with her. I thought I had been showing her everyday. I guess we are just not to the point where she is confident that our relationship is stronger than before. Regardless, I will continue to love on her as much as possible. If she gets mad at me then so be it. She can be mad all she wants, but I can not stop loving her. One day she will realize how strong my regret is, and how I constantly long to be with her. I love her with all of my heart!
You know, things are never easy. My wife and I have really been getting along well recently. Until today that is.... We were not even talking about our big problem. She wanted to go shopping when I got off work and I did not. Before I knew it, she said I had changed, and that I didn't want to do anything with her anymore. Where did this come from? I was tired and dirty. I felt like she was mad at me for it. Nothing I could say to her after that made a difference. I feel like if I do not do everything she asks that she takes it personal. If I don't want to do something then I don't like going places with her. If I get mad because I think she is being unreasonable, then World War III starts. I guess I don't deserve anything better. It just makes it hard to live a somewhat normal life when I feel like I have to walk on eggshells.
Now don't get me wrong. We have a very good relationship. I just hate it when she thinks I have changed. That I don't want to do things with her anymore. That our extreme closeness was short lived. I love her more than anything. I want to spend all of my time with her. I just didn't want to go shopping right after work. So, here is the lesson for today. Remember that after such an extreme betrayal, even the good times are hard. The fear of losing the strong relationship we have built is very strong in my wife. I have vowed not to argue with her. I explained myself and she listened and understood. But it did not make her feel any better.
I wish I could make her see how much I love being with her. I thought I had been showing her everyday. I guess we are just not to the point where she is confident that our relationship is stronger than before. Regardless, I will continue to love on her as much as possible. If she gets mad at me then so be it. She can be mad all she wants, but I can not stop loving her. One day she will realize how strong my regret is, and how I constantly long to be with her. I love her with all of my heart!
