Happily Ever After

~W~

I met my husband when I was about oh 14 or 15. I didn't really meet him, but rather saw him walking down the halls in my high school. Yes we went to high school together. I had P.E. with him. I will never forget roller skating in the gym. He'd come up behind me and tickle me. I loved it. It was great flirting...nothing more.

I started to develop a tiny crush on him. He was on a list of boys that I felt were potentials. haha Then one day in band (I'm a flutist) my good friend came in and sat down by me. She informed me that she was going to prom with him. So that was it. I am not that kind of girl so I scratched him off the list of potentials immediately.

They had a relationship for quite some time. Things went on, boyfriends came and went and my now hubby graduated from high school. I still had two years left. My junior year I got enough courage to ask him to a dance. My friend and him had broken up so I decided to just do it. I asked him. He said yes and we had an awesome time. He took too long to call me back though. If I can give you men out there any advice? Don't wait two weeks to call a girl back! lol I ended up starting to date someone new. I stayed with him for a few months and finally after we broke up I got a call around Christmas time from the now hubby. That was 1993 and guess what? We have been together since. You couldn't separate us. We spent every waking moment together.

The first time he kissed me was not on our first date. He kissed me so gently, so perfectly. I was on cloud nine. I felt like I was floating off into space. It was just perfect. The first time he said he loved me was also special. He looked at me and stared into my eyes and asked "What would you say if I told you I love you?" And I replied "I'd say I love you too."

That was it. In two years we were married. I was the happiest bride you ever saw. I was madly and deeply in love with this man. He was my life...my heart, my soul, my everything. I felt bonded to him like we were always together. Maybe it was just something God put together, fate, something. I just knew it was right. We were inseparable.

There were hard times and good times. I won't lie. Nothing is 100% perfect. We had our arguments. We had our difference in opinion...but over all we tend to agree on things. Our political views have always lined up. Our family values have always been the same.

My first daughter was born when I was 21. My husband held my hand while I screamed in pain and told me I was his hero. It gave me the strength to go on and I have loved him more and more for it. He was there for them all and a miscarriage too. We went through a lot of joy and grief together. He was with me through major illness and there with me when I got better. Just always by my side, always strong.

In the midst of it all, we agreed for him to take the opportunity to travel for work. It would be just a short time so he could move up in the company. We would make more money. Our family would be better off.

No sooner did he go on the road then he changed. He was short with me, mad about the slightest things. I know what I do wrong. I admit my faults but they don't deserve such anger and I had no idea how to respond to it. I became defensive. Our conversations turned into nothing but arguing and not the love and the "I miss you" we used to have. These were red flags but I was naive and always thought it was just a fight. Just an argument. We'll work it out.

Well it wasn't that simple and here we are now. I love him more than my own life. He IS my life. He is part of me and losing him is like a part of me dying. I could absolutely go on without him if I had to. Sometimes for your own sanity you DO have to let someone go that you love. In my situation I have faith and trust that we'll be stronger and better though by working together. I know he loves me. I see the fear in his eyes. My trust won't build back up over night but hopefully over time I can see him just as I used to see him, a good respectable man and father.