The Simple Things
Sunday, January 18, 2009 by Soul Mates 95
~W~
Tonight my husband and I decided to run to the store kinda late. Well, truth be told we only got back about a half an hour ago. It's 11:41 p.m. We get kinda crazy these days. It's more spontaneous like we used to be. Both of us always enjoyed just jumping up at the spur of the moment and doing just what we felt like doing. We also agree we just love the driving together. I love nothing more than getting into a car and holding his hand looking at the scenery pass by. I could drive from one end of the country to the next with him.
The past few days have definitely been better. I have been working at trying to not let myself dwell on things. I think awful thoughts...details and what not that put my mind in a place that will not allow me to heal. I am hurting myself I think just as much as my relationship. I mean will my thoughts change anything? Can it magically fix anything or make it go away? No. So I accept that I know what happened and spare MYSELF the details. NOT HIM. I guess I fear letting him off the hook or somehow making him think I accept it, or am somehow OK with what happened. I fear that because no matter how much times passes, or how many days or weeks go by without me mentioning it, I have never accepted or forgotten it. Forgiveness is different. I believe that whole heartily and I do think one day that will come. Anyway I think it would be wonderful if I could ever get comments from someone who has been there. You can comment anonymously on this blog. I understand the whole subject matter here is very sensitive but what I want people to see is an honest couple working through the most difficult thing a marriage can go through and doing just that...instead of resorting to divorce. Not that it hasn't crossed my mind because many times I have felt like giving up. Not because of a lack of love or needing to leave but because it is so difficult to get through this. I remember though why I am here in the first place. I am madly in love....and I want it to work. I believe it can...and it will.
Tonight my husband and I decided to run to the store kinda late. Well, truth be told we only got back about a half an hour ago. It's 11:41 p.m. We get kinda crazy these days. It's more spontaneous like we used to be. Both of us always enjoyed just jumping up at the spur of the moment and doing just what we felt like doing. We also agree we just love the driving together. I love nothing more than getting into a car and holding his hand looking at the scenery pass by. I could drive from one end of the country to the next with him.
The past few days have definitely been better. I have been working at trying to not let myself dwell on things. I think awful thoughts...details and what not that put my mind in a place that will not allow me to heal. I am hurting myself I think just as much as my relationship. I mean will my thoughts change anything? Can it magically fix anything or make it go away? No. So I accept that I know what happened and spare MYSELF the details. NOT HIM. I guess I fear letting him off the hook or somehow making him think I accept it, or am somehow OK with what happened. I fear that because no matter how much times passes, or how many days or weeks go by without me mentioning it, I have never accepted or forgotten it. Forgiveness is different. I believe that whole heartily and I do think one day that will come. Anyway I think it would be wonderful if I could ever get comments from someone who has been there. You can comment anonymously on this blog. I understand the whole subject matter here is very sensitive but what I want people to see is an honest couple working through the most difficult thing a marriage can go through and doing just that...instead of resorting to divorce. Not that it hasn't crossed my mind because many times I have felt like giving up. Not because of a lack of love or needing to leave but because it is so difficult to get through this. I remember though why I am here in the first place. I am madly in love....and I want it to work. I believe it can...and it will.
