Comments
Sunday, March 8, 2009 by Soul Mates 95
~H~
I want to thank everyone for all of the comments we have received. Some are supportive and some are neutral. I feel fortunate that none of them have been really negative. I know how many people, especially female, probably have a huge hatred for me. I hope that men feel the same way. What I did was wrong! It is not better because I am a man. My Wife reads the comments and sometimes gets upset. It does give us a chance to sit down and talk about them. The thing is that they are not untrue. I would be willing to bet than in 90% of the cases of infidelity, the person has not truly changed. I know that without a doubt I will never betray my wife again. I can say this with absolutely no doubt in my mind. I have learned from my mistakes. I am a good person who did a terrible thing. I am repentant and I believe my wife can see that in me.
One of the reasons I really wanted us to start this blog was to help others. I want to speak to women out there. If your dealing with the same kinds of issues my Wife and I are then I hope this brings you some comfort. I love my wife with all of my heart. I have hurt her beyond belief. I have seen what it has done to her. I see it on a daily basis. But to look outside of that, I have seen what it has done to me. I have never been a big liar. The act that I did caused me to betray myself and everything I believe in. Our marriage is going to work because I have seen the fault in myself. I know that if I even have the urge to do anything bad, that all I need to do is sit down with my wife and talk to her about it. I am not perfect by any means. To think that I am different than any other man out there would be crazy. I feel that there are men and women out there that can come to a realization that they can not live without their spouse. I hope that realization comes before anything bad ever happens.
Don't feel like a fool for giving your spouse a second chance if you can truly see the remorse in them. It is possible for a person to make a mistake. That does not mean that you should just forgive them and move on. It takes hard work to rebuild that trust. For the person in my position, you need to be more attentive to your spouse than ever. You need to understand their fears and help assure them of the positives. Support them when everything is OK and when they are mad at you for what you have done. They have a right to be mad.
Please don't get me wrong, if they do it to you again, then get out. It is probably not a relationship worth saving. People can change. I have changed for the better. I have been able to go back to the person that I always felt I was. A loving, trusting, supportive, honest person. I am sorry that my wife had to go through this to get the person she has always deserved. That person is here now, and here to stay.
I want to thank everyone for all of the comments we have received. Some are supportive and some are neutral. I feel fortunate that none of them have been really negative. I know how many people, especially female, probably have a huge hatred for me. I hope that men feel the same way. What I did was wrong! It is not better because I am a man. My Wife reads the comments and sometimes gets upset. It does give us a chance to sit down and talk about them. The thing is that they are not untrue. I would be willing to bet than in 90% of the cases of infidelity, the person has not truly changed. I know that without a doubt I will never betray my wife again. I can say this with absolutely no doubt in my mind. I have learned from my mistakes. I am a good person who did a terrible thing. I am repentant and I believe my wife can see that in me.
One of the reasons I really wanted us to start this blog was to help others. I want to speak to women out there. If your dealing with the same kinds of issues my Wife and I are then I hope this brings you some comfort. I love my wife with all of my heart. I have hurt her beyond belief. I have seen what it has done to her. I see it on a daily basis. But to look outside of that, I have seen what it has done to me. I have never been a big liar. The act that I did caused me to betray myself and everything I believe in. Our marriage is going to work because I have seen the fault in myself. I know that if I even have the urge to do anything bad, that all I need to do is sit down with my wife and talk to her about it. I am not perfect by any means. To think that I am different than any other man out there would be crazy. I feel that there are men and women out there that can come to a realization that they can not live without their spouse. I hope that realization comes before anything bad ever happens.
Don't feel like a fool for giving your spouse a second chance if you can truly see the remorse in them. It is possible for a person to make a mistake. That does not mean that you should just forgive them and move on. It takes hard work to rebuild that trust. For the person in my position, you need to be more attentive to your spouse than ever. You need to understand their fears and help assure them of the positives. Support them when everything is OK and when they are mad at you for what you have done. They have a right to be mad.
Please don't get me wrong, if they do it to you again, then get out. It is probably not a relationship worth saving. People can change. I have changed for the better. I have been able to go back to the person that I always felt I was. A loving, trusting, supportive, honest person. I am sorry that my wife had to go through this to get the person she has always deserved. That person is here now, and here to stay.
I just stopped in to check out this blog, and I know that I'm comming into the middle of what has been going on. I would like to say though, that anything can be worked through in a marriage as long as both people involved really want the marriage to work. Open, honest communication is essential. I can never stress that enough. Keep talking, Keep an open mind, and keep loving, trust will return when your ready for it.
You both will work past this, if you both want to, and come out the other side, not the same as you once were, but with a new, better, and stronger relationship than before.
But you both need to forgive, not only each other, but yourselves. Believe me, there is something inside of her, that she also needs to forgive, as well as you. Because on some level she is blaming herself for something regarding this issue. I also believe there may be something you need to forgive her for, no matter how small, because I don't think this would have happened if all of your needs were being met.